Name me Your God
by ReddAlice
Summary: Duo is kidnapped by the real Shinigami.... |Short chapters posted frequently| WARNING: Angst * Yaoi * Lemon * NC * Eventual Torture * General Dark Fic! ^-~
1. Prologue: Name me Your God

"Name me your God"

-by ReddAlice-

Author's Note: I am feeling very angsty lately, and I guess I feel if I write in some form or other I'll eventually be able to get going with my original projects. This is a Yaoi Gundam Wing Fan-Fic. I tried to keep the style a bit simple; I have this dirty habit of becoming over descriptive But hey, I won't cut out where it counts!!

-UPDATED- this fic is over a year old, and I am just starting to rework it. 

WARNINGS: They may not necessarily imply to this particular chapter or section, but they will eventually: Lemon, Yaoi, Angst, Darkfic, NCamongst other things..  
  
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing A.C. was created by Hajime Yatate & Yoshiyuki Tomino and is licensed to Bandai Entertainment. 

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The gargoyles above the church door arch loomed broodingly over the holly entrance and seemed to resonate with the bells as they gonged 11 times, and rang into silence above the grounds. _All is well_Duo stuffed his chilled hands into the pockets of his black duster and whirled against the wind in one smooth gesture, "Heero?" He shouted, "Come out here!"

Seconds drew into minutes, and he grew impatient waiting for his friend's exit of the church, _what in all of God damned hell could take so long Jobs like this aren't meant for Preventers, jobs like this are for FBI agents who run around using and abusing the secret identity of Foxx Mulder_, he thought bitterly. Though he was not all against the idea of being called off of vacation to spend time with Heero, it was the entire idea of creep hunting out in the middle of an abandoned area of L-1. He distantly remembered a time when not even the smallest section of a colony was untidy or unused, let alone abandoned completely. "Such a waste" He clucked his tongue looking up in awe at the expensive architecture designed after many 14th and 16th century gothic cathedrals, _Just goes to show, old doesn't survive well in the new_ He thought distantly of St. Maxwell's, regardless of the different scenario that had to do with St. Michael's completely demolishment abandonment. 

_God damn it_ "Heero?!" He shouted climbing the steps up to the colossal doors three at a time, "I wanna get out of here sometime tonight, and I can just hear that eggnog!" 

Duo poked his head in through the doors he had left ajar on his way out, "Heero" His voice echoed up past the balcony seats even after he trailed off, a young man sat languidly on the altar. He sat there with his head pointed downward, and his arms limp at his sides. Duo held for a moment, anxiety in a tight knot in his abdomen. How did a civilian get inside the church? The man, nothing more than a boy in his late teens, was still, not even the fall of his chest could be seen.

~~~~~

The wind from a broken window nearby blew through a diaphanous white curtain making it roll like waves of colorless water in the air. It would blow far out before being gently sucked back to reveal a woman sitting on a dust covered crate, her translucent red dress unsoiled by the filth that blanketed that bell tower.

Quietly Heero drew his gun from his belt, and stepped back towards the wall relieving himself of his blind spot. The wall, a good 2 inches from his back, emanated an icy air that seeped through the pores of his blue shirt. "Come out with your hands visible." He commanded in a monotone voice, a chill seeping up his spine and calling the hair on the back of his neck to attention.

She smiled vaguely and moved for the first time simply to push back a long curled lock of flaxen hair that had fallen before her washed out blue eyes. 

"Let me see your hands!" Heero reinforced, shaking off a wrenching feeling of despair.

The woman held her hands forward showing her palms as if she was ready to be arrested and hauled in to the local police station, but Heero wasn't there to arrest unwanted trespassers. He was there to look into the strange phenomena that had been springing up around the area, the cathedral being the main focal point.

Heero lowered his gun letting his guard down slightly, it was just a girl. "Lets get you out of here." He said quietly easing his posture comfortably, "No one is suppose to be in here, the bell tower was blocked off for a-" His words fell muffled into Duo's anguished cry. "_Duo.._" Heero raised his gun and ran back the way he had came in.

~~~~~

Duo finally stopped fighting the young man, and wrapped his arms around his neck, his head rolling to the side limply; each of his limbs felt weighted and numb. 

The world swam and his eyes watered blurring the edges off objects with the neglected background. _It it was all a scam to get me to come closer_ He thought derisively before he shut his eyes and fell back against the altar with a sickening crack.

Somewhere off in the background, what sounded far away, Duo heard Heero screaming his name

~~~~~

Heero watched horror as Duo's eyes fell shut and a dark stillness fell over the room. 

~~~~~

Quatre let his eyes drift close, he enjoyed his time off and away from all the fighting and anger. Though being a Preventer gave his life more purpose that extended past the walls of his estate and grandeur position, it was emotionally draining and left him weak and tired when the day was finally done. 

_Duo!_

Apprehensively Quatre bolted up right and fought his bed sheets, "Heero?!" He shouted, "Heero" His friend's voice had faded into the back recesses of his subconscious, leaving him sick to his gut.

~~~~~

Trowa raised an incredulous eyebrow, "You heard Heero call Duo's name?" 

Finally frustrated by the rough and doubtful interrogation Trowa proceeded to give, Quatre stood up from his chair and starred down at his lover. The violent emotions that swam inside bridged the gap between hurt and blind rage, and before he became anymore outright ambivalent he swung back an arm and thrust his fist into Trowa's jaw. "I _heard_ Heero, stop treating me like I'm insane."

Wufei looked up, the sound of the punch combined with his angered words jarred him from his half dazed state. "You're empathic, Quatre, not psychicYour asking us to believe that you heard Heero, though he is away on a mission, screaming Duo's name?"

"Yes" He said quietly, and he sat back in his seat unable to look the shocked Trowa in the eyes knowing very well if he did he might see the future of their relationship in the pools of liquid emerald. 

"Alright, Quatre, I'll amuse myself with this idea I'll put in word that you, Trowa, and I are coming off of holiday to go check up on Heero and Duo on L-1; I'll neglect to mention anything of your encounter until this is verified." Wufei said watching Trowa's hand slowly move to his mouth, a dark bead of blood dripping from his lip.

---^-^---TBC---^-^---

**Ending Author's note**: Please review, I like to know what my readers DO and DO NOT like about my writing. Honesty is appreciated; I am not so soft as to where I will burst in immediate tears when the first person says Ew, you suck. Lol. ^-^ Like always, I'm sorry for my poor grammar! I really do reread these pieces trying to correct them to the best of my ability, but I'm afraid my knowledge in that area is um think of another word for bad and use it there, lol, anything will do. So if anything is so horrible you can't withstand it! Lemme know, and I will try and fix it.


	2. Name me Your God 01

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Part 1

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There was a moment of uncertain and undecided silence when Duo first awoke in the darkness. He felt disconnected from his body, each move of his fingers as he drummed them on the soft surface he slept on registering individually in his mind. The harder he concentrated, his eyes shut, his thoughts dead, the more control he had of each increment of motion his body exerted. 

Slowly he began to come into consciousness, his eyes fluttering and opening wide to take in the pitch surroundings; Duo sat up. Unable to control the smallest motion of his eyes, they lolled to one side focusing on his index finger. It was twitching on it's own, more visible to him at a distance in the dark than it had ever before in any lighting right before his face. He was fascinated with his own body... and unable move the muscles that controlled his eyes.

"It's a strange sensation, is it not?" 

Duo continued to stare at his own hand, bemused and excited by the change in his body. "Sensation?" What sensation? He was numb and his finger was spasming. As if a puppets strings had been cut, he fell back limply into the fabric that had cradled him while he slept.

"Sleep Duo... you're all alone... and you're far beyond help."

***

Quatre scanned the horizon the whole district was muted. Somewhere nearby, he had heard Heero screaming Duo's name. He could discern his friends fading signatures in the general vicinity of this area, but anything beyond that was out of his reach. "Heero?" He called, his mind grabbing at the falling threads. "Heero?"

__

Duo...

There it was again, Heero was here. _Duo...!_ Quatre let his mind feel out for his friend's, and felt a sharp pierce in his neck, and bile rise in his throat. He was seeing Duo through Heero's eyes, and experiencing each pain Duo felt. Images where over lapping before his eyes, a mixture of emotions from two separate sources filling his heart until they joined in the room where one fell quiet.

The church... So much time has passed... Where was Heero? A young man... Duo was choking...Crying... wanting Heero to help... not wanting him to die trying... forcing himself to stay silent...Gathering strength to fight the attacker...His gaze was on Heero running into the room... then on the face of the aggressor...

A beautiful girl hiding in the curtains... Heero hearing Duo scream... His feet fumbling for a footing on the old small steps as he ran towards the source...Duo on the floor... entangled in the arms of a young man... His face palling...His glassy eyes... Blood...Duo turns his head upwards, his mouth parting as his body shivers... His eyes fall shut... 

Quatre's gut wrenched, and the ground pulled out from under him. Grabbing the curb, he pulled himself up onto the sidewalk, stretching his body out to its full length. His stomach was heaving.

"Quatre!?" Wufei dropped down next to his friend, scooping his tense body into his arms.

"Duo is..."

Distracted Wufei looked up at the doors of the colossal church brooding above, Heero was in the doorway his face starch and wet. "Duo is dead."

"What, where is his body?" 

Heero glanced back towards the darkened entrance, "_She_ took it with her..." 

---^-^---TBC---^-^---

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Ending Author Note: I was thinking about updating this story in small increments like this, that way the task of a chapter isn't so daunting. Fuck, yes, I know. ^-~ On the bright side, updates will be more frequent. Please once again, if there are any errors that are so heinous as to interrupt the flow of the writing lemme know. LoL! And I do not mean comments like, "Yeah, I see something wrong with your writing... hehe... YOUR WRITING!" LoL! Lets try to keep it within the things I can help.


	3. Name me Your God 02

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Part 2

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Light from the streets managed to find its way into the building, lighting up the small droplets of blood like broken ruby. Trowa glanced in each direction for a sign of Duo, his mind doubted Duo's easy demise as the story was told by Heero, but his soul told him otherwise. It was like being called by two sides of the same coin. The soldier in him was growling at him to suck it up, prodding at his emotions until they where dry and unaffiliated with the situation. His human half, Duo's friend, was crying and desperate for any shred of evidence to suggest his whereabouts. Neither sides of him was satisfied, aside from the blood before the alter, nothing was disturbed.

"You _heard _me.. Scream?" Heero asked quietly, dubiously. The normal monotone was barely present, his voice rising and falling with each letter.

Quatre nodded, "Yeah... I don't know... it was really strange... Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. Then again, just outside, I was swept up in emotions-.. and images. Yours... and Duo's..."

Wufei looked away from Trowa, whom he had been watching quietly, "Duo, is he still alive?" There was enough proof already to suggest Quatre and graduated from empath to psychic, always the skeptic though, he was ready for the smallest trace of inaccuracy.

Guilt washed over him in tides, there was no way he was alive. No way he was breathing, his heart had stopped, and a new silence took up the space between passing ticks of the clock. "No, he's-..." 

Heero's face fell devoid of feeling.

Quatre looked around for a moment, his eyes sweeping up the sides of the walls and down to the alter where they stopped. Something was anchoring him to the broken pieces of wood, the candles still standing in the air unused and coated with neglect. 

The group followed his eyes, and Heero rose to his feet from a crouching position and walked towards the object. 

"What is it Heero?" Wufei asked.

"Words... Japanese characters...."

Trowa at Quatre who was fixated on Heero. He was still a boy, 19 years old, fragile looking, tired, and incredibly childish looking. His eyes clear and deep, untainted but haunted. "What do the say?"

"They say..." Heero felt the words fall over his lips like anger bursting from a gun, "Shinigami wa, dare desu ka?"

"What does that mean?" Trowa asked, Duo and him where the only ones who could speak only a few important words of Japanese like: Toilet, water, and food; and read not a single character.

Wufei cleared his throat, "It roughly means 'Who is Shinigami?' Does it say anything else?"

"Ee..." Heero mumbled lapsing into his foreign tongue. "It also has a few words in English: Death is far too sweet.....to enjoy it painlessly...... So drink it slowly."

Duo flashed in Quatre's mind again, his neck throbbing under phantom teeth, his last thoughts materializing in the silence. _I guess this is it... don't be an idiot and try and save me...just stay there... close your eyes, Heero, man. Look away, don't watch me like this...I wish I could say it... but ... _The string was interrupted by more nerve crumbling pain._ I want to tell you... _The image of Duo moved in startling off colored frames, his lips parting as his heart began to stop. Each beat like a faltering bass drum ringing in the air. _Heero... I love you..._

Moments played in Quatre's mind continuously. Duo crying in Heero's arms after a very bad mission, his body wracked with pain from broken bones he had tried to set... like Heero. The two of the laying in bed laughing in the comfort and privacy of their bedroom. Duo slipping between emotional rivers and lakes of corporeal pleasure, his form completely interlocked with Heero's.

"Quatre?"

Quatre looked up in horror at Heero, not because what he witnessed but in blatant empathy and uncontrollable pity. Not once in their relationship... did they acknowledge or shared their feelings for each other with one another. Duo died not really knowing Heero had loved him, died agonizingly wishing he could tell Heero that he treasured him body and soul. Duo's heart had stopped... before he knew that someone loved him, something he had never heard voiced before.

****

---^-^---TBC**---^-^---**

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Ending Author's Note: See, taking Japanese does come in handy when writing fanfics! Now understand, it's very doubtful that you'll ever get updates so close together. So, AHEM! Enjoy them! Again, as I've said before... and probably will several times in the future, please read, rate, and review! If there is anything that is so GAAAH! About the story please let me know. Also, if you have any ideas don't hesitate to e-mail me... I could always use a little verbal prodding to get the creative "juices" flowing. **rolls around laughing inanely** Yup! 


	4. Name me Your God 03

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Part 3

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Carefully a young girl drew the soft brush through Duo's long hair, her face was concentrated, her pinkish tongue bit between her lips. She had been in the room since he woke up and was capable of moving and controlling his body fully, dressing him before he was flat on the floor. For such a young person, she was very attractive in an older way. Duo felt himself gravitate to her, not wanting to pull away from her small fine fingers as they worked their way through each individual tangle with assiduousness.

Duo brooded in the silence, his traitorous body relaxed under the girl's touch. He was still to groggy to be fully angry, so he was forced to be content with just glaring half-heartedly at a secured location near the door. Fortunately for him, his memory was to fuzzy to recall exactly why he felt so hostile to his surroundings, the thread like memories in his mind drifting through his fingers.

"Would you like me to braid you hair?" The girl asked walking in front of Duo to look him in the eyes. _She's very pretty_, he thought distantly startled by the deep tone of her voice. Unable to help himself, he examined her light blue eyes, pale round face, white blonde hair, and long red robes. "Can you speak, yet?" Her voice was like an electric blanket in an ice-riddled dungeon, wrapping around him and protecting him from hypothermia. Something he thought he would certainly contract if he were left alone there much longer.

She shook her head, "I suppose I will put it up for you anyways, it's beautiful down, but not appropriate for seeing _Her_ with. The last thing I would like to do here... is upset Her..." A strange smile appeared on the girl's lips. "-Or _excite _her." Within moments Duo felt her back to work, his hair twisting and forming in an intricate braid down his back. "There..."

With a mirror in her hand, the girl appeared before Duo again. "Would you like to see?" Duo just stared at her. "It's very nice..." Leaning over him she pulled his braid over his shoulder and held the mirror up so he could see the snaking hair as it wrapped back behind his head. Truthfully, he had never thought his hair could look that good. "Do you like it?" Duo attempted a grateful smile, but his face refused to register anything but hollowness. 

"I thought you would. I saw your braid when you came in, it was messy... but... I figured since it was such a practiced plait... you must like you hair that way. I use to have hair that long, I never failed to come up with a new way to make it pretty." She smiled thoughtfully, her face bright but rueful at the reflection. "...We should finish dressing you."

Efficiently, the girl stood him up and swiftly altered his clothing. Plain black slacks, and a tight long sleeved shirt. With all the fuss, Duo had expected something flashy, something overtly and stereo typically gothic. "Attractive..." The girl assessed, "but not inviting. An appearance you just may want to keep up, I believe that will be my only warning for you. Do not be inviting unless you truly are prepared to give yourself, in body and soul, away."

The depth and hidden meaning struck a chord inside his brain, "Heero..." 

Dismissing his whisper, the girl looked him up and down once more before reaching up and pressing her cold index and forefinger to his throat. "You are a miracle of God... You must really want to live." 

Duo winced, taking notice that the skin on his neck felt fevered and swollen. "Heero..."

***

After being escorted down the carpeted halls, and into a large dinning room, Duo was seated at one of two large wooden chairs. The table between them was long and polished, ornate designs carved into the middle and the base of the surface.

Uncomfortably he waited, unable to muster the energy to do much but appear to be sulking. After having been awake for over an hour he still couldn't shake the feeling of sleep from his head, he was lethargic and sore, comparing his present situation with being hit by a semi. 

The girl who had dressed him, and accompanied him into the dinning area was nowhere to be seen. Duo shook his head feeling his eyelids drooping, his shoulder sloping, and then a fork was being tapped against a glass. Someone had taken the other chair and was looking at him with a steady and focused gaze. Her eyes boring a hole into his head. 

__

She, he presumed,was petite and blonde, very feminine with long thick tresses and wide brown eyes that where narrowed between full lashes. "Who are you?" She queried with a distinct authority of a person who knew they where atop the food chain.

"Duo Maxwell..." He mumbled.

She tilted her head, "And you presume to be the God of Death do you now?"

Duo raised his head to look at her more closely, what could she know about him? Frowning Duo nodded, "I_ am_ the God of Death." He grumbled callously. "_Who _are _you_?" He managed cockily.

The young woman smiled pleased, her eyes sparking with a sort of wild glow. "I like you...I think I will keep you."

Duo frowned, man, what a day to be grumpy. "Who are you?"

"Duo..." She said lazily, her eyes drifting about his body with provocative deliberation. "_I_..._am_ _Death_... The _Goddess_... The _God_... be whatever way you put it... I _am_ death."

---^-^---TBC---^-^---

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Ending Author's Note: Seeing how this is my first actual post, meaning I posted 4 sections all at once, I haven't gotten any feed back yet. I hope this story goes over well. If nothing is quite making sense yet, I wanna reassure you, that's okay! It will later, and that's what I am going for. ^-^ More dimensions as the words go... To reiterate what I've said before, please rate and review. If anything is overtly bothersome, such as my grammar (not my writing! Bleh to you!) Then please include it with your review. I am always interested in learning how to better my writing to not only make me happy, but to suite my general audience. 

Ah yes... and don't worry, this story is not just shonen-ai... there'll be some heated huffin' later on once I've established most of the foundation for the plot and such. ^-~ Please head the warnings; I am not a nice little girl.


	5. Name me Your God 04

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**Author's note**: Gomen-nasai! Tottemo Isogasii desita! (I'm sorry! I've been really busy!) **Grovels** I just started working in a berry plant 6 days a week 10-13 hours a day, so I've been coming home and trying not to pass out. Well due to rain, work was canceled today, good and bad (I need money). So I decided to do an update while I can. Please, remember...read, rate, and review. Criticism is _always _appreciated, and I love you guys for being honest with me. I've had a few e-mails, which to me are just as good as on-site reviews. Thanks and love to everyone!

*** **PART 4 *****

                The whole world was on a doomed train, barreling down the tracks for that cliff super man was suppose to come up over and stop, but somehow, Duo felt even though the real Shinigami was starring right at him, Super man was still a little far fetched. His mind staggered over the thought, and a twinge of jealousy piped up in his heart waking him up from his mental lethargy. Shinigami..._He was Shinigami..._not this pip-squeak-bimbo.

                There it was, the challenging look She had been waiting for, and how sweet it tasted in her mind.

***

                A moment of quiet apprehension past, the grandfather clock of Quatre's sitting room counting the seconds of silence that divided the four. They had combed the infinite church for hours looking for any evidence of sorts to help them hold on tight to the dying hope that Duo was out there, waiting to be saved.  All they had found was the smallest smudge of blood where Heero had said Duo was last seen.

                Seeing the small amount of blood, rubbing the cold sample between his thumb and index finger, Quatre's mind had gone reeling. _Where was he_? While it had given him hope, it had just sent the others into prolonged fits of silence and empty glass case stares. 

                Trowa, unable to decipher one feeling from the next, absently reached up and touched his mouth wallowing in his ambivalence. On the surface, he was wounded by his companions' sudden disappearance (he was still reluctant to say death), but the majority of his mind was held by Quatre's early actions. Was he going mad? How could he possibly think he had any more than a strong intuition? Psychics don't exist. He was concerned for his health, for his sanity, and for their relationship. Love was infinite...tolerance wasn't.

                Wufei stood, his studious to-work nature pulling back together the physical pieces that has sat in a mass on the couch. "I-... I will go file a report." 

                Quatre felt laughter erupt erratically from his mind, and then bubble up in his throat and spill from his mouth like a waterfall of hysterics. "And say what? I'd like to make a note of my friend's abduction by-...by vampires?!"

                "Of course not. His body was missing in action." A dark spark flared in his eyes, his face staying masked, but the dare to contradict him was snapping around the two of them. _Missing in action_.

                Disagreement acknowledged, not accepted. Again, for a second time that week, Quatre's hand flew, on a will of it's own, openly against Wufei's cheek.

                Wufei's lip curled, his fists bawled in his determination to control his rearing temper. Quatre wasn't all together right now, someone he cared for died; he needed time to acclimatize to their new body count. 

"Get out of my home..." Quatre heard himself say in an angry cracked voice, "It's nice to know what you guys would do if I had gone missing!" He threw an angry glance at Trowa, who stood up next to Wufei, his eyes shadowed. 

                "I have things to do anyways." Trowa said walking Wufei out. _I'd never leave you Quatre, and I'd never let someone take you, dead or no._ Unable to help himself, Trowa found himself blaming Heero for everything. For his failing relationship, for Duo's death, for how much life just sucked right then.

No amount of therapy, or cosmic glue could ever fix the crack the pummeled through the group. An unseen force was ripping at them, wearing their foundations like a thousand year flood would in just minutes. Things between them would never return to normal they had worked so hard to have.

**Ending Note**: Please read and review with opinions and after thoughts. I will try and update like I said, I am almost finished with the fifth installment. They parts will be short, and I'm sorry things are going slow, but very very soon... **insane laughter** ANGST! I have to lay the foundation for their drama before I can allow things to move ahead.


	6. Name me Your God 05

*** **PART 5*****

**Author's Note**: Um.... HEEEELP ME! **Picks berries from her hair and whines**

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The atmosphere began to soften with light trills laughter, _She_ was amused for some _ungodly_ reason. "You may be excused." She said dismissively turning her attention away from him and to a clear flute-glass in front of her. It was empty.

Duo couldn't move, his body was frozen and stiff, his skin cold like a shell that incased his animosity towards his captor. A woman. Suddenly, he felt like Wufei, quick to underestimate the female sex. When he knew very well, even at the tender age of nine, women where evil, not weak. A smile tugged at his lips, his body warming and melting against his chair.

As quickly as it had changed in the first place, the air around him iced, the pressure renewing his initial inflexibility. "_Why _are you amused, I said you are to leave."

How often do you have a chance to back talk death? "_No_." He drawled, "You said I was excused. I don't remember asking if I had to go anywhere, this chair _really is_ comfortable."

The woman didn't bristle instead she smiled... A cold, skeletal expression carved into her porcelain face. "It's precarious to be so bold..." She whispered, her eyes shutting sleepily. "Precarious to be sure..."

The growing pain in his heart and the heated flesh on his neck burning unbearably, related to him Her sincerity vindictively. 

"Make no mistake... I like you, I want to feel you under my hands, inside my body, I want to ... _taste_... you inside my mouth..." -she was swaying, the words breathed through her barely parted lips- "I want under your skin..." Her eyes snapped open, her body becoming still and fixed. "The penalty for perfidious behavior is pitiless _and… agonizing_."

Instantaneously the discomfort stopped, and a cool realization washed over him. He'd sooner die than be at her mercy as a witless minion, or even worse (in his mind at least) her caged sex slave.  "What are you going to do? _Kill me_?" His mouth shut immediately, his mind replaying what he said. _Way-to-go, man..._

"_Now, Duo... _Why would I do that when there are so many other ways... to slaughter your mind?" 

Duo's eyes fluttered, his body-becoming limp and slipping to the floor under the table in a mess hurt.

***

As scheduled, Heero came off his paid vacation and returned the Preventers office. People who had caught wind of Duo's death gave their condolences, and Duo's secretary cried. The girl couldn't have been more than 18, and had been given the job out of charity. 

Wiping her tanned hand across her eyes she sobbed, "He... he _saved _my life... He's _gone_." She wailed. "I-... I'd still be digging inside a dumpster and laying in some man's-... " A fresh flood of tears broke her sentence fortunately.  "He was a good gu-" 

The noise the followed was sickeningly familiar to the secretary who had come off the streets and into the office, the rolling click of a revolver pressed into her agape mouth reverberating to her ears through her teeth.  

Heero's cobalt eyes where shut, his lashes damp but ungiving. "Shut up." He hissed.

***

Wufei glanced up from his files, his mind somewhere between terrorists, his uncle, and Duo, then looked back down and came to a halt. Was Heero holding a woman at the 'benevolence' of a gun? 

Without dropping his paperwork, the young Chinese man sought to disarm his friend. "Yui!" With a swift round quick, Wufei sent the gun flying to the ceiling with a bang. Unconscious in the office above, Quatre lay unbeknownst to the bullet hole by his temple.

*************

**Ending note**: Opinions welcome (HINT HINT HINT). Sorry about the grammar, I am trying to edit it, but it is just not my forte. Sorry Nina, Quatre is not dead! LoL. ^-~


	7. Name me Your God 06

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***PART 6***

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Author's note: I just dragged myself from kempo; my arm is twitching from punching. Good lord o might and all that good shit, it's time for bed! Hey, and maybe a story! Part 7 will be out soon to make up for the lack... of well... everything. Lmao. ^-0 Thanks!! AND THANK YOU FOR your persistent e-mails. For those of you who consider emailing me, I promptly answer all emails once I am home from work. 

__

Now once upon a time there was a little boy who just COULDN'T keep his clothes on, when he grew up little had changed, and his name was Duo Maxwell. (Excerpt from a short fic in progress, Whaddya think? Would you be interested in something like that? 

**__**

-Include your opinion in your review-

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His eyes fluttered open, his body stiff, and a foreign but surprisingly familiar ache biting at his side. Twisting his body, and blearily feeling around for something solid, Quatre latched onto the side of the posh love seat in his office and hauled himself to his feat. In such a weak state, even his body weight felt like picking up a mecha forged from gundanium. Had he hit himself on his way to the floor? 

Quatre froze.

Absurdly, tears were pooling in his soft sapphire eyes, then streaming down his cheeks in powerless trickles with every blink. With detached fear, Quatre whipped at the liquid with his hands, and then finally with the arm of his sleeve.

What was wrong with him? Oh God, what was wrong with him!?

Quatre coughed hysterically, finding himself back on the ground; images of thick liquid, black as pitch and shinny as lacquer, splashing against a stone wall and streaming into a flood of blood on the floor sparked in front of his eyes. The horrific phantasmagoria subsided and another wave of darkness engulfed him.

...What did this all mean?...

***

"Mr. Yui, I understand your loss, and _this _incident will be over looked due to your spotless and efficient record here... _but _I will not abide another occurrence of this class and magnitude. Not in _this _office." Une coolly glanced at the occupants of the room, almost wishing the darkness over her two employees would vanish. It was an unusual shadow in their eyes, a gaunt pain in the thinness of their cheeks. How much could they withstand? How much suffering would they bear for their departed comrade?

"Is this all understood?" 

Heero's jaw tightened, his eye narrowing. However, Une fully comprehended that her orders would not be rejected. "Yes."

"And Wufei..." The casual use of his name snapped him from his daze.

"Yes?"

"I am putting you in charge of all officers in Class: A, here."-there where only 4 remaining officers that where typed into Class: A, including Wufei, they where all former Gundam Pilots- "Anything they do, personal or not, is on your shoulders. I will not hesitate to relieve you of your position permanently if you do not comply. As you are aware in this hierarchy, things here are quite above common law. All unusual behavior such as Mr. Yui's outburst today will be reported to me. If I discover you are undermining my authority, you will face me, and all penalties I shall deem worthy of such a treachery. Understood?"

Wufei just starred at her.

"I am putting all of you through psychological evaluation, I know you boys where exempt before, but given the circumstances of Mr. Maxwell's untimely demise...and recent outbreaks and reports"-someone must have relayed Quatre's queer behavior- "I am rewriting your contracts. Convey that information to Mr. Winner, and Barton. You are dismissed."

Wufei bit back an out lash, his face reddening with fury. How dare she...

***

-_Telephone Ringing, WAITING CONNECTION APPROVAL_-

"Dr. Winner?"

"Lady Une? It's been a while, what's wrong with the boys?"

"Assumptions? Nevertheless, true. There was a small incident a few days ago, I need your assistance."

"What happened?"

"Duo Maxwell was killed in the line of duty, his body missing in action. Heero saw the whole thing. It's a mess."

"Oh _no_... not Duo... How is Quatre taking it?"

"You mean, _Heero_? I knew of their outside of the office relationship. The walls have ears here, and I, Dr. Winner, have cameras."

"No, that's not right... Hmn... I _meant_ Quatre, _my_ brother."

"...."

"You didn't know?"

"..._continue_..."

"No, I don't feel right gossiping about the deceased. Duo... was _very _dear..."

"I want you to give all employees under Class: A an evaluation."

"I thought they where not liable for that? Given who they are..."

"I have new reason to believe otherwise, but that is classified, you understand."

"Oh, of course. I will be in tomorrow morning?"

"Early as possible, thank you."

"Have a good evening, Lady Une."

"You as well- _Wait_."

"Yes?"

"I don't want you to leave any stone left unchecked. I want to know everything there is to know about their stability. Do you understand? If there is any chance one of them may-"

"I understand, Lady Une, and I won't."

"Thank you, again. Your assistance is much appreciated."

"I know, it's my pleasure. You _know_... my brother and Duo-"

"Good bye."

-_CLICK, DISCONNECTED_--

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TBC...

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Ending Note: Curious.... Curious, Indeed. What happened between Duo and Quatre? Hmm. Sorry this section seemed pointless, really it's just making sure you all caught a few things from the last chapters. You know, for the painful oblivious who skip huge parts just so they can say they read it. **wink wink** **_Please_**, **review and rate**. I see a lot of hits on the chapters, but not so many reviews. My friend suggested maybe it's because the readers don't know what to write... well, write what you deem right. Questions, Corrections, Comments, opinions... I love it all (and you guys of course!), and I appreciate it dearly.

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-RA

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	8. Name me Your God 07

********* PART 7 *********

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**Author's Note**: **_cries tired_** This is the song that never ends... and it goes on and on sorely off key MY FRIENDS! Some people... STARTED singing it... NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS! And then they kept on singing it...._forever just because..._ THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS! And - **whack**

_Anyhow_, told you it wouldn't be long for Part 7! Though it's really short because I am strapped for time, but believe me... part 8 will make up for length... geh... FEH! ^-~ Luff ya sex slaves! (Went to Anime Evolution in B.C... it was lame.... nothing compaired to Sakura-con. However, next year I will be attending these cons: Sakura-con, Anime EXPO!!!!!, Anime Evolution as Haku (Spirited Away), Sesshoumaru-sama (Inuyasha), and Judy (War of Genesis).

Um, Duo is getting accustomed to his new situation (or not...), some old habits of mouth returning. A cute phrase he uses sometime within the first section was taken off a quiz I took online. QUIZILLA "What Swear word are you?" Naturally, I'm FUCK! Wanna go take the quiz, maybe post your results along with your review!  swear word are you?/ (REVIEW! It keeps me writing)

-Wrote listening to the techno/rave remix of FREAK ON A LEASH-Korn (mmm...Jon Davis)-

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"_Get dressed_." 

Duo sat up startled and glared habitually at whomever or whatever decided stupidly to wake him up. He was naked from the waste up, the cold air biting at his sensitive skin. Being kidnapped by a lofty blonde bimbo claiming to be the God of Death was not his idea of fun, nor did he like the prospect of her keeping him?' The whole things had put him in one mangled mood. Her final words rubbed up against the barriers of his mind, like a hand prodding his memories, a hand made of bleached dry bones. _...Slaughter your mind..._

Disconsolately, he ran a hand through his sleep-mused hair, and focused in on the source of the intrusion. He had been sleeping, or at least something, thankfully, that resembled the act. It was the boy from the church...The dull pain still lingering in his body faded, and his neck gained a heart beat of it's own, pumping blood straight to his groin. How he wanted him to touch him...

His tousled white-blonde bangs where brooding in front of his washed pale blue eyes, he looked angry. "Get up." He commanded with a snap of his head, his ashen hair falling back by his ears. 

The yearning instantaneously receded. 

Unable to deny himself, Duo shot him the one-fingered salute. "Go _fuck _yourself, fuck nut." He hissed.

The boy just laughed, appearing to be younger yet in the gales of bitter laughter. "_Fuck nut_?" He rolled his pretty eyes and cocked his head to the side, his lips parting just so he could make a show of being amused. "I've been called worse...."-another fit of smooth, provocative laughter- "I _am_ worse."

Extinguish, Duo laid back down in his designated bed, settling in the warmth he left that seemed so cold. "Yeah, well, I'm glad you can admit that buddy." 

"What's there to admit?" He replied with a slow shrug of his delicately sloped shoulders. Duo peered up at the sleep-time-disturber, unable to decipher what the joke was with this undeniably sexy weirdo. How could someone be so open and close off at the same time? He was like a box, with the lid skewed only noticeably, but not enough to let out his contents. Why did he care?! This bastard bit him.

Unprovoked, Duo's hand flew up to protect the sensitive skin on his neck. What the hell was he, a vampire? For Gods sake! Why did his life have to be so damn weird!? Somewhere in his mind, a memory of music was triggered. A light haunting melody from the X-files, the song he had been thinking about prior to entering the church.

***

Trowa decided he'd knock one last time before he went home. No one had seen Quatre, and his secretary was pretty unknowledgeable about his whereabouts. "He could have gone home, I may have seen him leave an hour or so ago. Um, but maybe hes in his office!... Gosh, I just dont know, now." (Or Ever, he had thought).

He knocked again and waited a few minutes, listening to any possible sounds inside the locked office. He couldn't shake the feeling that Quatre was contained behind those doors. Snorting, Trowa turned away and headed back downstairs. Maybe Quatre was avoiding him... With his hand to his mouth, he felt his pride sting, or maybe where Quatre had hit him still hurt. You didn't feel pride in your lips anyhow. A memory of kissing Quatre washed over him. _Or maybe you do_, he thought with a hint of a smile threatening his pained expression, or lack there of.

***

Quatre blinked his eyes open at the sound, contemplating its dimension as it echoed in his office.

_Quatre_...?

_Trowa_? The voice died away. It could have been Duo, he wasn't sure.

Without anymore-necessary initiative Quatre ran to his office entrance, fumbled with the lock, and swung it open to a vacant corridor of dim lights and closed doors. Maybe someone was rapping at his mental accesses? 

"Well, _perhaps _I _am_ insane..."

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**TBC-**

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**Ending Note**: I've actually got parts 8-10 laying around on a floppy disk. LoL. I'll get them up when I can, right now, I'm covered in berries, late for Kempo, and really sore. ^-^ REVIEW!! LoL. And luff for everyone who keeps me going, you guys are the best. I've never felt so connected with my readers. I love your honesty. Thank you!

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	9. Name me Your God 08

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**Author's Thought**: Ya know fandom peers, I love Yaoi and everything that comes along with it... _almost_. I was watching Dexter's Laboratory... smiling all the way, because it's funny in a stupid way that I just can't get enough of. Then I was struck with an odd pairing, Dexter by Mandark. EW! You know what? It is just so wrong on so many levels. There are only two existing slash pairings that make me squirm (IN A BAD WAY): Harry/Ron (Harry Potter), and Dexter/Mandark (Dexter's Laboratory).

**Author's Note**: Nothing special... but I would like to remind everyone about the warnings that are on this fic for good reasons. NON-CONSENSUAL SEX! (Yes, if you don't like it, I am very sorry to loose readers, but it exists in this fic) ANGST, and questionable dialogue. 

**WARNING**: LONG!!!

**Disclaimer**: (Wufei: Holds up a sign relaying the fact that Redd DOES NOT OWN Gundam Wing to uphold the (in)justice of the fandom realm)

(~-~ I know this is a slow moving story, but I'm having issues with where I want it to go! LoL. Writing isn't a problem, moving is!) Now on with Name me Your God PART 8

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The not so scenic fish bowl screen dissolved into a black instructional screen with pale blue lettering for vid-phone usage.

_Please enter the destination you would like to connect to ground level number first followed by sector code, area number, phone number, and recipient's residential key._

2-203-360-943-9823 | SHIGI

_Now connecting, thank you._

Heero watched with a passive expression as image he was well acquainted with materialized. In the upper left hand corner it said: _The personage you were trying to reach is unavailable (REC. TIME 4 minutes and 23 seconds)_ _If you would like to continue to the message center please touch the screen._

The smooth face looking at him was grinning boyishly and waving his hand, "Hey, Hola, Aloha, Konnitiwa, Bon Jour, D-"

"Duo you are using up all my recording time, move." Heero was saying the background trying to get a good look from behind his lover.

Duo shrugged and turned his attention back to the monitor, "Hey you've reached the bland residence of one Mr. Heero Yui-"

"Duo, let me do my _own_ recording." Heero voice was agitated with humor.

"No, they'll take one look at your eternal expression of grumpiness and hang up. You'll never get _any _messages. Why would they wanna look at you when they could look at me resident hotness." He said with a rhetoric matter of factness.

Heero's gaze tightened, he had been wanting to laugh. In the beginning of the relationship that glimmer in his own eyes was as foreign to him as pizza; but both Duo had introduced then reinforced in his life. 

"Fine." The recorded Heero said stalking off screen.

Duo's eyes followed Heero with an odd amount of appreciation and lust in his eyes. "Any_who_..." Duo whistled, "He is unavailable..."-A wink-"or currently indisposed. Leave a quick vid and number, and I'll make sure he gets it! _Bye, Bai Bai, Sayoonara, Aloha, aurevoir, N-"_

"Duo!"

Duo ducked below the camera's range, a rolled up tube sock zipping across the screen. His head popped back up over the table with a seductive smirk, and a salute. "Thanks, Zya!"

_Would you like to continue to replay the recorded away message, or would you like to move onto the message center?_

...For the fifty-third time that day, Heero brushed his shaking fingers over the replay censor. 

"Hey, Hola, Aloha..."

---------------

"Stare any harder at that wall, and it'll burst into flames."

Trowa had been supporting his head in his hand and had been concentrating on the barrier for well over an hour trying to advert his thoughts from a certain flaxen haired man, and the mess he wanted to make out of his 'other' coworker. "Huh?" 

Eyeing him with a wufei-ly concern was...Wufei of course. "Shall I call the fire department?"

Uncertain of what to make of Wufei's bout of not so appropriate humor, Trowa just gawked. 

His friendly gesture was forgotten, his unnatural demeanor shredded by a business-like posture he had probably mastered by the time he was able to say Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch at the age of 2 in his ancient cultures and countries class; Trowa speculated. "_She's_ ready for you in there, you're first." Trowa rose from his chair and headed for the ominous polished door of the infirmary. "Good luck." Came an almost inaudible Wufei behind him.

With silence on his mind, Trowa shut the world out with a twist of a knob and turned to face the painfully merry face of Dr. Winner. One of Quatre's many sisters, the only one who looked nothing like him, but managed to embody his powerful light in her smile. Probably a recessive trait, he noted.

"Hello Mr. Barton. It's nice to see you again. Would you please have a seat? I have a few short questions. They're personal... given the nature of this problem, once the session begins you are obligated to answer truthfully all questions asked of you. Understood?" She said quietly, almost sadly.

Trowa nodded and sat down.

The doctor turned her clipboard over in her hands, and then looked back up her eyes glazing with tears. "You where personal friends with one Mr. Maxwell?"

"Yes."

Dr. Winner whipped a tear from her cheek, and looked down at her hands dripping with guilt. "Trowa... you know I have to ask things about you... and Quatre... and maybe share things with you don't want to hear? I'm sorry... but this is my job... to search out souls... see people's nature... intentions... their heart... their mind..."-a human lie detector, so sensitive to feelings some called her psychic, she far surpassed her younger brother's abilities, or had until recently-"right?"

"It's understood." 

Breathing heavily, she leaned back into her chair, rubbing the soft of her hand against her oddly round face. "Trowa how was the air between you and Duo?"

"Please be more specific."

Dr. Winner bobbed her head, "I'm sorry, let me rephrase that questions." When she locked eyes with him her eyes where bear of emotion, she was empty and willing to receive. "Given any knowledge you had of Quatre's affair with the demised, Duo Maxwell, how did you feel towards him? React?"

Under her dead gaze, Trowa's already wounded heart froze, and for some strange reason, he still held Heero responsible as it shattered and scattered across his vision.

---------------

The late Mr. Winner had been very proud of his daughter Mary, she was quiet, talented, receptive, and honest. For some reason though, he had separated her from Quatre in the strictness sense. Quatre always felt as thought she was reaching for him across contents; her power wasn't a glimmer of something like his. He was just slightly abnormal she was supernatural. Maybe that's why... 

Quatre looked up to meet Trowa's ambivalent gaze, he had been in there a little of 3 hours and was just now coming out. Without a word, he removed himself and wondered aimlessly down the hall furthest from his own station. Destroyed....

Hesitantly, Quatre walked into the office and shut the door. Quietly at the desk, Mary sat sobbing. "Mary...?" He whispered unsure of his own voice and it's impact. "Mary, are you okay?"

"Fine, fine, fine..." She muttered trying to sound dismissive. "How are you?" Slowly his sister peeled her eyes up from the ground and stared at him. "You are _so _pale... not well."

Immediately he was lost in the bottomlessness of her dark blue eyes, they were depths darker than his own, worlds apart from any he had ever seen. He had forgotten how intrusive they were. Since their father's death, Dr. Mary Winner, age 29 had been working for the government, a prodding device.

"Sit, please, Quatre... and please... be honest with me...."

Quatre nodded, he was honest by nature.

"Don't lie to me..." She murmured her eyes dimming. "Quatre, please tell me about your decision to go to war?"

"What does that have to do with Duo?"

"Let me repeat that question. Quatre, please tell me about your decision to go to war."

"I-..." What was his decision? "Can we come back to this so I can think please, Mary?"

"Alright I will pass over the first few pages of questions and go to Duo Maxwell related inquiries." Dr. Winner said leafing through a few pages before she came to a halt and gave a strained sigh. "Is (or was) there any reason you would have to dislike Mr. Maxwell in anyway, because of Heero maybe? Or Trowa your current boyfriend?"

"Oh god..."

---------------

Much of what he speculated to be the afternoon, but actually was early to late morning Duo spent thinking about Heero. His thoughts rolled inside his mind, hitting one mental barrier and then slamming into another. It's not that he had lost his memory, but really, he had just lost his will to recall most basic things. He felt like a caged dragon, his wings thinning from neglect, the polished scales of his breast caked with dirt, cracking before the fell off with a clack onto the ground. Man... It sucked having an over active imagination when you where cooped up in the worlds creepiest mausoleum.

After a while, Duo recognized the sound of the door opening and shutting. Shifting his attention from the large canopy to the new occupant, he bolted up. It was the girl!

"Hello, Duo." She said with a sweet sadness laced in her voice. 

Suppressing the urge to smother the light with a bear hug, Duo forcefully seated himself and watched her. Nothing had resembled her warmth since he arrived inside... wherever he was.

"Your hair... is a mess." She said touching her own short wild tresses. "Come here, let me brush it for you."

Deferentially, Duo obliged the young girl, and moved to the chair where he had first really noticed her presence. "Who are you?"

"Does it matter?" She asked, suddenly smiling, giddy with the prospect of him having enough energy to converse with her.

Duo nodded his head, "Yeah, it does."

"You have such a lovely voice." She said thinly. "My name is Thea."

"Nice to meet you Thea." Duo said to cover up his loss for words, she hardly looked old enough to have such a provocative name... then again, she did happen to remind him of another intruder, one who left his mark on the sensitive flesh of his neck. Same blue eyes... same hair... Maybe they where siblings? Duo concluded. "I can braid my own hair, though, I've been doing it for years."

Thea's small hands recoiled from his messy plait like she had been jerked back by a leash, "It seems you will be. I'm being called, I will see you soon... Duo Maxwell."

---------------

"Dante... you're so very pretty... so very pretty, in deed." Shinigami murmured running her white fingers down the young man's taunt flesh, "Like _Duo_... What do you think of him _my _doll?" She whispered carving a thin line down his pelvic bone with her seriated fingernail with possessively. 

A pained gasp tore from his lips, his pale blonde hair falling from his tightly closed eyes. 

"I knew you'd like him..." Retracting her body from his, Shinigami rose from the cold floor, and saunter over to the entrance of her sitting area and pressed herself against the cool stones. 

Starring at her from the hall, were two feral brown eyes, sharp like glass trying to slice at her empty veins. "Alex." She laughed. "You just missed... the most fun... I've had in a while." Stalking past her, the interluder stopped short of the writhing body on the floor. "You know the rules, _Alex_." She purred, "You can't touch him... till you _touch _me... _want_ me."

Again those darkened orbs fastened onto her with venomous abhorrence, "Death bows to no one." 

Laughing, Shinigami reseated herself next to her pet, "Bitter, bitter... _Alex_... but you're not death anymore, and _never_ **_will_** _be_ **_again_**."

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**TBC...**

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**_|ALWAYS read the ending notes and such|_**

**Ending Note:**

Stay tuned for part nine coming up soon. It's time for some healthy dosing of Duo Maxwell's POV (point of view). ~-~ Please people; keep me updated on my grammar and such. I am so paranoid about how much I suck at it. Gah. ^-~   So just about Duo in part nine. As for part ten...Quatre's is found mentally unstable...and Trowa does something regrettable and extremely OOC! And _what_? Wufei in tears? Hehe. Ohhh yeah, buddy!

QUESTION: When I say: He said with a rhetoric matter of factness. Can anyone think of a better way to say it? Factness really...I don't even think is a word. ~_~

_About the vocabulary word:_

 Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch is really a word; rather it's the name of a village in whales. It was that or the word antidisestablishmentarianism, which means opposition to the disestablishment of the Church of England.

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****PLEASE go ahead and check out other stories by me and then review. NMYG has out ranked in reviews by far… those other poor pathetic fics. Hey, the song fic Thank You has made two of my friends' cry; so in whole it can't be that bad. Closer is just deranged… in a tasty dirty way. Pretty, Pretty needs help.  Forever repenting is fine, but I need a beta because I'm really confused (read the AN for that fic and you'll understand).

Also, keep an eye out for my new fic mOBSCENE… it will be a series fic inspired by Marilyn Manson's songs: mOBSCENE (of course), and This is The New Shit.

"Babble babble, bitch bitch, rebel rebel, party party, sex sex sex, and don't forget the violence… blah blah blah!" Man I love that song. –This is the New Shit- 


	10. Name me Your God 09

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**Part _9_**: The Three Parts of What-If

_DUO'S POV_

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**Author's Note: ** Aside from this, I really have no plans on changing how I've been writing NMYG. I just wanted to throw MORE Duo into the fic, seeing how this fic... is _about_ DUO! Much of this is Duo's opinion, I may have one later about Quatre so I can give the story the dimension it _should_ have. This also will help connect a few loose ties. Gomen if everyone hates POV stories. If PPL read this _and_ review, I would like to know what they think of having POV inserts to help clarify anything that I may muddle. 

FOREVER **thank yous **to the following: PATTY40, rikasakuraduo-heerosyliaspike, & Siyris (OF COURSE)! People like you make posting... well... really worth posting. You guys keep my motivated, are honest, and help a lot whether you realize it our not. Again, and I know I say this a lot... AND MEAN IT **EVERY TIME**... 

**~~~~~?~~~~~****!!!THANK YOU!!! ~~~~?~~~~~**

**WARNING**: Part 11... has just about everything I've warned you about this fic, the real pain begins.

NMYG has been on FF.net for exactly one month today! HAPPY ONE-MONTH BIRTHDAY NMYG!!!

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_What if I want to be here…._

---------------

Thea had left me to my thoughts, and once again I was left alone in the room that has become my willing prison. I feel no need to run, no need to fight, no worries at all, no need to contact my friends. Hell, I didn't even fight off that fuck nut that clamped on to my neck with his canine sharpies. Well... maybe I swung my arms a bit, but I think... and I hate to admit this, that I wanted to die there on the floor in his arms. Not Heero's, not Quatre's not even Trowa's... but in that odd man's arms. Well fuck, don't I just sound like such a novel queer?

Excuse me while I prance off and roll my eyes... at _myself._

Anyhow, it started shortly thereafter. My body was wracked with some sort of _itch _deep under my skin, one that no amount of scraping would make it cease. I could have cried. It came out of nowhere... my skin felt feverish... my neck hot and throbbing... I'm not trying to make it sounds sexual, even though, the pain felt good. Like a bee bite that you message, it hurts and swells of course, but for some reason you crave the heat.

I think the relentless rough tingle went on for hours, but it could have been minutes here in Queen of Heart's Dungeon. I writhed enjoying the sensation and ripping at my skin to make it stop. I didn't even notice my nail break off into my own arm.....

The feeling of my clothes dragging back across my skin tickled, and I didn't want to _be_ tickled. So by the time it had nearly faded, and I was worn, sweaty, and bloody, I was naked and tangled in the sheets of my(?) bed.

I couldn't shake the feeling, even as I drifted off into the darkest bowels of lala-land that _She_ was watching me, that she was twisting my insides in ways that should have killed me, and I was lying there enjoying it.  

---------------

_What if I hurt myself…._

---------------

My eyes where swollen shut when I woke up, and I nearly laughed; if I ever saw Chang-man again could I tell him I beat myself within one inch of my own life? Probably not! He'd _never _believe. If it weren't for the crusty gashes, torn skin, and rusty brown sheets I would have thought I had been dreaming or wouldn't have believed myself!

As I lay there, trying to bat my wet lashes and focus my bleary sleep-skewed vision I could feel a foreign body cradling my head in their lap. Inhumanly soft hands brushing my cheek, stroking the core of my soul. I relished in it at first, feeling therapeutic human contact against my tattered self mutilated body. 

You can only dawdle in pleasure so long when you're wounded. Quickly I sat up and wielded my scariest Heero glare in the direction of my molester. How dare… he… 

Starring back at me with an incomprehensible effortlessly tender expression was my attacker. Tilting his head, he further softened his gaze with a quizzical droop of his heavy eyelids. Was that concern? Or lust? 

It's hard to tell when you are so over whelmed with shock. I had a similar reaction once when I walked in on Heero doing the Macarena to some old Mega Death disks I have lying around my room. I collect classic metal music. Even though it's beyond my era… you _do not_ Macarena to Mega Death's Symphony of Destruction. _My…_ theme song! After such a sight, something so bizarre, you loose all will to formulate words let alone have a basic thought process.  

As if he suddenly recognized me as a danger, someone peering in on his intimate moment, his expression snapped back into an effortless scowl; his eyes over so slightly slanted, and his eyebrows gently drawn down above his staggeringly crystal gaze. 

"Shameless." He asked in abrupt cool amusement.

I followed his gaze down to my exposed lap, and shrugged. I generally looked like a well-loved-beaten-brutally-mauled dog toy that had gone through the cathouse. "It doesn't matter, it's not like you can tell what anything is." I berate surveying the damage with a distant sort of interest.

His tightly pulled brow quirked up, "You can tell."

"And you _would_ be looking. What is up with all the homosexual followers of vampirism?" I exclaim leaning back to watch his reaction to my bold jab. "Ouch!" I yelp. How the fuck did I manage to get back there too?

"Pathetic." He muttered sitting up as if the bed itself was covered in the Bubonic plague, the Black Death.

I eyed him covering myself gingerly with my stained sheets, "What is?"

For a moment his eyes fluttered between dry humor, anger, and that strange expression that had adorned him well just minutes before. "My interest in you."  He stated making his way to the door.

"Join the 'I got a jones for a Duo' club, I'm sure it's official somewhere."

Turning to fix me with a breath stealing look, he shrugged dismissively, "I have a jones, but not for you."

I shift. "Ouch." Not because of my self-inflicted injuries, either. 

With a self-gratifying grin, my loath-worthy attacker left me alone to my pondering. I didn't want to think about _whom_ he could have a boner for aside from me in the Crypt Keeper's paradise. So far the body count was few: Thea, It-…_I mean Her_-, and Myself.  Thea was old enough to be my kid… that is if I started having kids at the age of 7, and _She_… for some reason, the mere suggestion made my skin crawl.  Somehow I knew I had it the nail right one the proverbial head. The mystery man wanted inside the Shinigami-rejects skin. Though, with him there, she had little need for me anywhere near her. Or did she… 

I covered my ears to block out myself.

When you have nothing to worry about, you think about some of the stupidest things! Really you do... 

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_What if I'm hiding…._

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**TBC**...(**_Please read the 2nd ending note_)**

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**Ending Note**: I'm _highly concerned about my grammar, it worries me; same with my spelling. I've been trying to learn as much as I can from my fics and what people say about them... like until recently I had no idea there was a different between were and where, alright and all right, it's and its... until someone pointed it out. THANK YOU (you know who you are). _

**2**-I'm going to take a break for a week or so I can finish or at least get my other fic up on FF.net. Meanwhile, please read my other fics and review, they're kinda neglected and always in progress (I'm a writing fanatic, I keep at least 10 stories/fics in constant rotation). ^-^ Part 10- Trowa does something regrettable, Quatre is found mentally unfit for his position, and Wufei.. in tears!?!? I appreciate all of your comments, and I WILL continue to update. See, I will continue writing, I just won't be posting for a little while. So keep an eye out for my new fic: mOBSCENE inspire by Marilyn Manson. Here is the net description:

**Net Description**: No secret government work, no Preventers, no safe houses. Now 22 Heero is a hit man for the Japanese Mafia and is assigned by the _Oyabun's sonto take down the "mistress" of a key member of the Chinese Mafia who is also the boss of a notorious motorcycle game. What happens when Heero finds out... his target is really Duo? (Yaoi, Angst, DF, SF)_


	11. Name me Your God 10

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Part 10

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Author's Note: I know I said there would be a wait, but for my special reviewers who always come back!! (Here ya go MOA!) Read the ending notes please!!

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Warnings? Man, just trust me...take heed (PART 11), because once I get into it...I'm stuck, and you may be too!

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Songs: Bring me To Life - Evanescence, **Did my Time - Korn**, and Symphony of Destruction - Mega Death. 

**Pulls out directors baton** Ready? And-a-one-and-a-two-and-a-one-two-three! Iko!

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Lady Une had treasured simple gestures of affirmation and negation. After Treize's untimely finish, and her rush to the front of the line, she found herself having to come up with news to say yes and no, and simply just saying yes _or_ no made you so like a fool. Who wanted to follow a fool? No one Une wanted following _her._

Slightly neurotic was a great way to describe her. Late one night after she first met Treize's only child, the embodiment of his persuasive prowess, she had stayed up composing 293 different ways to say: Yes, go ahead with the plans, your fired, get out of my office, No, I'm sorry for your loss, please do, close and mark such-and-such file as classified, do not touch me or my belongings, and hide all evidence. She was sure there where more, but after that mission for eloquence she found most word sequences came to her easy. 

Fired: Let go, terminated, permanently dismissed, services no longer needed, your job has been fulfilled, disappear, you place here has been concluded, you've accomplished your potential, I am tired of looking at you.

Regardless of the person she had started the war as, she had finished someone completely different. She was no longer just Une, but Anne, her birth-given-name and not completely unlike the mother she blamed for every problem. Lady Une had found compassion, a niche beyond her initial calling, a position that took her soul home. She had also discovered characters along the way that where necessary for her essential goals, ones that had been carried over by Treize; something just a bit beyond peace. 

Amongst those key roles, those pawns, was one special boy she had seen with bright-undaunted blue eyes; glowing orbs that shown through evil and broke through to the people. Quatre Winner was his father's son. A time long ago, she had watched Mr. Winner debate on world-changing decisions, his voice ringing resolution into the ears of his listeners, when she saw Quatre, she _felt_ the similarities. 

Someone so pure, but not innocent was so rare in the after math of war...but when they have been corrupted, and they are shattered, they become a reflection skewed into a mad shadow of former self. 

Lady Une found herself writing ways to tell Quatre the decision she had come to with the help of his sister, and his comrade (Chang, Wufei); one that would benefit him, but possibly derail her ideals for the time being. She scribbled in final red pen and then folded the piece of paper twelve times and sent it airborne into the recycle bin. 

Moments after the paper settled into it's grave of scraps, there was a reluctant knock on her office door. Automatically Une kicked back in, beating Anne back with a kendo CLUB, sensitivity was not needed.

"Excuse me, Lady Une?" First through the door was the platinum blonde mop of hair, followed by his unparalleled complexion and cerulean eyes. 

"Go ahead and enter." She said authoritatively.

Shutting the door politely behind him, Quatre stood beside the soft cushioned seat before Une's desk. Something in the air told him not to bother and sit, he wouldn't be there long. Lady Une recognized the scene, he wasn't aware of what was coming, but he knew just the same. 

It was hard to believe he had been having a tryst with the deceased mobile suite pilot. What passion it must have made flesh, she thought hearing Treize off in the darkness of her inner-monologue. That poor ignorant boy,

"Mr. Winner, I regret to inform you that you have been found psychologically unfit for your position here at headquarters and are hereby forth relieved of all duties pertaining your occupation as a Preventer. However, due to the critical knowledge you hold of our 'business' you are asked not to seek out any further trades, and to remain under professional care at your home until another evaluation can be given. Is all of this understood?" 

Quatre...I'm unhappy; you loose your lover, and now your job. I feel for you, I really do understand.

Quatre didn't appear surprised, nor did he shed the tears she had been expecting, instead he gave her a curt nod and went for the way out long after the sincere glow had died from his face. "Understood..._and_ I don't want your pity, because you _don't _understand." He answered with a formal stiffness in his voice that was as foreign from his mouth as apology was from Lady Une's.

The chair barely resisted being knocked to the floor as Lady Une stood up in astonishment, "What?" Quietly the door shut, and silence consumed her office.

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It was true. Wufei had collaborated behind the scenes of the decision to remove Quatre from his position. He felt like a nark, he hadn't realized he was attached to the way he saw his friends every morning. How he secretly enjoyed seeing them on weekends for Dinner at Duo's, when he would cook odd American foods and make tactless jokes. Or even the occasional formal party at the Winner's mansion, in which his attendance was always requested by elegant black envelopes and invitations written by hand in refined silver penmanship. 

When did he become so emotionally involved with _them_? Why did it half to hurt so much? Why couldn't it just go back to being the same as it had? Even after the catastrophe that had been the war, they had all salvaged their bodies and minds and carried on, _together_. 

Now Duo was gone...

Now Quatre was removed...

Now all he felt was regret and pain...

Now his heart was broken, and his pathetic excuse for a family ruptures at apart at seems!

A shudder passed through Wufei's chest and rattled his thoughts. Was he saving himself pain by helping send Quatre away so he wouldn't have to see the real repercussions of Duo's death?

Another quake rocked his world, and Wufei leaned back against the wall of his room. Why did he have to suffer!? Didn't he do his time? Did he fight viciously for the justice of his people? For his dead family and clan!? Why was he still undergoing trials of character? There was nothing left to test!

Wufei had fought if off at first, he had tried to hide from the emptiness Duo's absence left, he'd even attempted to ignore the massive canyon tearing up the familiar ground of undeclared friends. 

Wufei couldn't do it anymore! He couldn't repress the searing agony of defeat! He had lost! And what was even worse, he was never given a chance to fight!

Sinking down, the wall tugged up at Wufei's unbuttoned shirt until he made contact with the ground. He was useless. 

Wufei had long felt as though he had become the fifth wheel. Duo moved in on Heero, Quatre and Trowa made their relationship public, Quatre and Duo snuck around behind their boyfriend's back. All of this Wufei had always known...and he had always felt like his wants, his desires, and needs where skirted. Where did their affairs leave him? Now, all that was petty. He wanted to feel the beam of his friend's smiles and laughter, because he had known all along regardless he had been loved. Duo had loved everyone. Duo had been the glue.

Tears glossed over Wufei's naturally dark eye, tearing down his mysterious veil, and leaving him vulnerable to the emptiness of his bedroom. 

Possibly he had wanted Duo too..._perhaps_...he had loved him as well.

For the first time in longer than he could remember, Wufei broke down in sobbing shambles, hidden by the secrecy he had surrounded himself with, the only company his barren walls. 

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It was easy to fight of redundant thoughts of betrayal when you are so emotionally damaged that the worst string of words you would have to defend against comes every 15 minutes and is preceded and chased by the stillest of quiet. 

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Can you love someone who doesn't love you back? Is it true love if it's unrequited?

Mustering the energy, Trowa waded through the empty halls like a public pool, and made his way out onto the main street outside of his apartment building. 

Am I capable of love? ..._Who would love me...if they could_?

Trowa had never been one for drinking, or any form of substance abuse after the Ring Master of Cathy's circus had been drunk and killed after a freak accident of elephants and water barrels. However, he did understand there where certain times when it was called for. _Now_ was as good of time as any. 

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House of Gold was a well-known club, bar, and hotel. Trowa had never been inside its ostentatious walls and glitzy signs, but he had seen it enough walking briskly to and from work. For some reason, he had thought he would end up at a dark old western style bar, where the waiter just knew your name and what drink would solve your problems. However the moment he put his hand on the door, he knew he would appreciate the anonymity.

"What can I get you, heart breaker?" The short round bartender behind the counter said grinning. She was loud, with thick short blond hair, and wide eyes. It was probably a line she used especially to get tips.

Trowa slid onto the barstool, and shrugged. He'd never drank before, how should he know? "Anything strong would do." He said with a heavyhearted sigh.

The woman's grin faded into a maternal smile of sympathy, "Want something foul to drown out those miseries? I promise I won't nab you while you're too inebriated to tell me from the strippers upstairs."

Trowa huffed a laugh, and ran a hand through his bangs, "Yeah...sure..."

She nodded, "Alright sweetie, a Double Bacardi 151 it is."

Pulling his head back, Trowa raised an eyebrow. "What's that?"

"Burben, Hun, it's a name for a 101 proof Burben drink."-Cautiously she pushed the glass to him-"15.50 a glass. Go ahead and wrack up a bill, a doubt the money will be little consolation for whatever the hell is bothering you, but at least you'll be too intoxicated to know better!"

Trowa brought the glass up to his lips and took in a deep breath; the liquid was so potent that even the air he brought into his lungs burned. 

"As your attorney, I say suck it up princess." The bartender said cleaning out a glass and surveying the dancing bodies out on the floor, the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas joke lost on him. The club was picking up. "Life has to get worse before it gets better."

With her golden words Trowa sucked it up, every last drop of Burben, and went on to drinking a total of 10 glasses before his well-trained body was saturated in alcohol.

The night drained on, and well into the morning, the same blonde bartender finally shook her head at his request for more. "Sorry, man, you're done. Want me to call you a cab?"

Trowa shook his head viciously and stumbled from his perch, "Nothaddayabeokay."

"You sure."

"Un." 

Trowa tossed his wallet at her, which she caught midair and nodded. "I'll put the change away, take a tip of course, and you can have this back next time I see you. I'm here every night...or I can mail it to this address..." She said looking inside, "Trowa Barton." She finished.

A drunk Trowa flashed a dazzling smile as if he had perfected the gesture with practice and made his exit.

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"Leave a quick vid and number, and I'll make sure he gets it! _Bye, Bai Bai, Sayoonara, Aloha, aurevoir, N-"_

"Duo!"

"Thank, zya!"

Heero smiled wearily, it was a beautiful face to wake up to, indeed, though it seared his body with want. Feeling his gut rumbled with hunger, Heero noted he hadn't been shopping since two weeks before Duo's disappearance. 

Slowly the food had vanished, leaving Heero fasting in grief, until now. Rising from his seat, Heero grabbed Duo's slack black duster and moved for the apartment exit; something he hadn't done in a few days. His body was noticeably neglected; he hadn't even made it into the shower, let alone to the kitchen to eat. The small nap he had woken from was his first in a while; it was all adding up to tattered unshaven Heero.

Pulling the door shut, Heero stopped in bewilderment, his deprived mind's gears slowly computing the image before him. Across the hall, slumped in a mess of smiling, grumbling, drunkenness was Trowa. 

Trowa waved, grinning broadly. "Heewrow..."

"Trowa?" Heero suspiciously crouched next to his comrade who became completely still, and checked his pulse. He was living, but it wouldn't put it past a doctor that Trowa would undoubtedly have some form of alcohol poisoning. 

Forgetting the food, and Duo, Heero pulled Trowa into his body, one arm around his waist the other under his knees, and hauled him into the air. For someone so thin, he was tremendously heavy.

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"You look a little...piqued." Shinigami said with a looming grin, her eyes narrowing into dark slits under thick lashes. 

Duo glared right back.

"I take it you didn't sleep well last night, it must have been just awful." She kissed into the air. "Grovel...lick the very dirty I kick at you and we'll never have an even more passionate repeat."

Indignantly, Duo cocked his head up starring audaciously down at the petite woman across the table. "Lap it up yourself, bitch."

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Trowa blinked awake, the world swirling together in a pretty array of confusion. Where was he? Did he care? Hardly. 

Two fire blue eyes materialized before him, they where angry, concerned, and beautiful in Trowa's dizzied mind. "Hello?" 

"Trowa, what did you do?" Heero asked efficiently sounding grouchy.

"Hello." Trowa said decidedly again.

"Yes, hello, what the hell did you do?"

Trowa leaned back, falling a small distance into feather down blue pillows; "I was..."-he trailed a moment starring at Heero's bare chest between the openings of his duster- "I was practicing my right to hate myself." He slurred, his vision doubling then refocusing.

Heero shook his head, "Why?"

"_Because_..." The willing-to-share Trowa began, as if it explained the whole mess. "Because who could love me if I can't love myself? And I can't do that if I hate myself." He rambled.

Moving away from the bed Heero shook his head again, those words sounded like him. 

  
"Heero..." Trowa mumbled his eyes closed. The man who was responsible for all this, he chased Duo right into Quatre's arms, a person who could never turn away love. A pang of fret clung in his ribs; did this extend beyond just Duo? Maybe it reached as far as Wufei and Heero. Everything was beyond his control, and not a single odd stacked in his favor. Gradually, a ghost of a tickle on his abdomen pulled a smile, the world was messed up. 

Hesitantly, Heero sunk into the space next to his intoxicated friend. "Yes?" After a few moments of silence, Heero leaned closer; Trowa had probably passed out again. Duo had never let him take care of him after a bout with alcohol; Heero had no idea what to do. From the movies he gathered, however, if Trowa should become ill he would need to move to the bathroom and take some aspirin. There was nothing like an unconscious friend to make you feel inadequate. 

"_Heero_..." 

Heero took a firm hold of Trowa's chin and shifted his head towards the glaring light above. Maybe he hit his head, which would explain why he was slouched in the hall like a bum. Trowa's eyes, those liquid pulls of jade, where exceedingly more cloudy than they had been moments before, however they dilated in the light and focused on Heero. 

"Don't die on my bed." Heero stated awkwardly unsure of how to react to the unfamiliar body next to his.

Trowa laughed rotating his chin in Heero's hand, "I'll try not to, but..." Devoid of hesitation or remorse, Trowa pulled the hand that clung to his jaw down and began to reel in the body attached to it. Trowa leaned up, propping himself up on one elbow and brought their faces within an inch of each other. 

Heero stood still, not moving away, not desiring him to let go, but something in his mind was nagging on him, someone he had almost forgotten. Duo...Taking in a ragged breath, Heero released his burden, and regardless of that smiling face in the shadows, he kissed him.

Grief, anger, loneliness, and rejection pulled together and liquefied into the gesture. Heero's hands found themselves undressing the body below him, breaking the kiss briefly to discard the shirt. 

"I just might..." Trowa whispered into another caress.

Heero pulled his head back, and shed his duster his body heated and not really caring, "Just might what?" 

Trowa smiled, hiding the weakness that was surfacing under the mask, as he hooked his thumbs into the waist of his jeans and unbuttoned it, and slid the remaining article from his body. 

Lacking lament, Heero wriggled out of his slacks, and climbed over the already sweating man below him to indulge in a soft kiss, but the savage lips that met his murdered any and all remnants of a sensitive lover. "I just might die..." Trowa murmured pulling Heero's bottom lip into his mouth with his teeth. 

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The golden red flames cracked against the cold walls, the insufferable sound rushing into the halls like thunder, or a rampaging river. 

Shackled by his chaffed wrists to a pivot on the floor, kneeled Duo, his clothes hanging in tatters from his frame, at the feet of his attacker. The beautiful blue eyes Duo had found once captivating, searing him with their sheer iced deadness.

Duo's naturally humorous clear eyes where incensed with clouds of vehemence and disobedience. "Fuck off." He growled.

Upon her thrown, like the goddess she claimed to be, was Shinigami, her laughter mingling and playing with the crackling fire. "I just might after seeing this...Do it an enjoy it like a man, or plead for your pride; that is your punishment."

Duo spat on the steps bellow her feet, and smirked.

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TBC...

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Ending Notes: ^-^ Okay...now I am going on my week or so break, I will be back, part 11 is close to ending, but I try to space out each part to give people time to catch up, and me to get some feed back. Also, there is a complementary (AU) song-fic-fic coming out for NMYG. It's called **Your Clown**. I was listening to a song by Eiffel65 and heard the song Your Clown and was struck by how much it sounded like Trowa in NMYG. It's amazing; please DOWNLOAD the song before reading the ficlet. As everyone knows, my song fics are not like other song fics! Let's check out the net description:

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Net Description: (Complementary AU fic to NAME ME YOUR GOD) Trowa catches a peek of two very naked bodies in Heero's bed, both of which are not Heero, but his and Trowa's boyfriends making love. The bittersweet sound of a heart shattering can be heard for miles.

---Don't have to read this---

ReddAlice: Good news everyone! I scored into college English this morning! **And **I said _no_ sex before part 11!

Heero: *****raises an eyebrow* It was censored, besides, I though you where beginning your PWP thing with NC?

ReddAlice: _My story is not a PWP!_ **Glares**

Duo: I thought I was going to get to ravish Dante?

ReddAlice: Shut up, you don't know his name yet! And you're supposed to be all upset that your boyfriend cheating on you while he thinks _your dead!_

Duo: Oh, yeah. **Waggles a suggestive finger at the unlikely pair (1X3)** Naughty naughty, you're suppose to wait for me to return with a vampiric hottie. 

ReddAlice: Yaoi playboys are hopeless. **Rolls eyes and marches off to finish part 11 ALONE**


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